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 Need your advice/view please

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William Ôn Được Quyền



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Join date : 2011-07-04
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PostSubject: Need your advice/view please   Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:05 pm

Hi bros/sis,

I am not sure if this thread should be posted here.

A friend of mine has a situation and would like to know of your opinion on his situation. He is totally new and not exposed to the Vietnamese culture at all.

This friend of mine has known a Vietnamese girl for about 6 months and he liked her very much. Although he is married but I can tell that he loves her and the girl is also aware that my friend loves her very much and about his marriage. This girl was divorced and has a kid.

A couple of months back, my friend went to Vietnam to visit his girlfriend and his girlfriend brought her mother and kid to the airport to meet him. They stayed in the hotel together (different room of course) and went sightseeing together. What does this mean? Meeting her mother on my friend's first visit to Vietnam?

My friend always tells his girlfriend that he loves her and sometimes, his girlfriend does not like it and say that he talked too much. She does not tell my friend that she loves him. Is this normal in Vietnamese culture? Does she love him?

Another thing is that is it common that Vietnamese girls do not like to call their boyfriends? My friend said that sometimes he does not hear from her for a few days and when he tries to call her, her phone is not switched on.

Hope someone can help to analyze and advice on this.

TIA. Smile
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LearnViet_
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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:14 pm

It's the perfect place to post.

Adguy knows a lot about Viet girls. Haha.

First and foremost, it's very common for girls to bring their bf to see their parents even on the first visit. There are a few reasons for this.

1. She's planning to fleece him
2. She's proud to show her mother her foreigner bf
3. She's serious enough to want her mother to meet him

Only she'll know the real reason, but judging from the situation, 2 looks most likely.

The more traditional Vn girls are quite conservative, so saying "I love you" openly may not be very appropriate. However, I dare to say that the new generation of Viet girls are slightly different. They are quite open about their feelings. I'm more inclined to think that if they dun say I love you, it means they haven't decided if they do really love you. And pardon me for saying this, but this is especially true for Hanoi girls.

Finally, its common for vn girls to go Mia because they use prepaid cards. We live by our mobiles, they dont. So it's quite common that they can't be reached for a few days when their card is out of money.

My personal analysis just for the sake of discussion... I'm not exactly sure how much love there is between the 2 especially since they know close to nothing about each other. IMHO, the girl sees your friend more as an option for a better life since she already has a kid and so does your friend. Most vn guys wouldnt even think of raising someone else child, but somehow, i know dozens of singaporean guys who will. Again, I dunno anything about the 2 so this is just an opinion. Nothing personal.

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William Ôn Được Quyền



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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:54 am

Thank you for sharing your view, bro.

I guess their relationship should be quite ok bah, since my friend's gf actually asked her child to address my friend as father. Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:30 am

William Ôn Được Quyền wrote:
Thank you for sharing your view, bro.

I guess their relationship should be quite ok bah, since my friend's gf actually asked her child to address my friend as father. Wink

I dunno bro...

IMHO, getting her child to address your friend as father reinforces my guess even more actually.

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William Ôn Được Quyền



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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:54 am

Adguy wrote:
William Ôn Được Quyền wrote:
Thank you for sharing your view, bro.

I guess their relationship should be quite ok bah, since my friend's gf actually asked her child to address my friend as father. Wink

I dunno bro...

IMHO, getting her child to address your friend as father reinforces my guess even more actually.

As in this, bro?
'IMHO, the girl sees your friend more as an option for a better life since she already has a kid and so does your friend. Most vn guys wouldnt even think of raising someone else child, but somehow, i know dozens of singaporean guys who will.'

But my friend does not come from a well to do family and he has his family to feed as well. The girl is fully aware of his situation and knows that my friend is unable to support her family.
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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:23 am

William Ôn Được Quyền wrote:

As in this, bro?
'IMHO, the girl sees your friend more as an option for a better life since she already has a kid and so does your friend. Most vn guys wouldnt even think of raising someone else child, but somehow, i know dozens of singaporean guys who will.'

But my friend does not come from a well to do family and he has his family to feed as well. The girl is fully aware of his situation and knows that my friend is unable to support her family.

Anything I say now would simply be a guess.

But if you understand the living conditions in Vietnam, she'll probably be happy with just $300 - 500 support money. And if your friend really loves her, I don't think she would mind taking a gamble with him.

It may not be all about money... but what I'm saying is that she could be with your friend for the sake of stability rather than true love. Again, not everyone has the luxury to marry for love.

I'm not in a position to judge her, nor am I labeling her as a bad person. I'm just saying that I'm not convinced (from what you have said) that she's head over heels in love with your friend.

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William Ôn Được Quyền



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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:56 am

I see. Thank you my friend. Smile
Cam On Rat Nhieu.
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moinguoimotnoi



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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:48 am

I am not sure I am appropriate to comment, I will just give my opinion. building a relationship with them requires time, time to blossom and time to trust each other. There is no need rush.

When a viet girl loves a man, she will want to know what he is doing now, has he eaten, why he did not call or sms, .... it means she will charge her pre-paid card regularly. She will also tell her all her problems...... I think. But there are so many types of girls there, so I do not to stereotype them.
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William Ôn Được Quyền



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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:09 am

Thank you very much for sharing your view.
This would be useful to my friend. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Need your advice/view please   Today at 6:09 am

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